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 Dragonball D

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The Dark Angel
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PostSubject: Dragonball D   Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:52 pm

Tell me what you think about Dragonball D. Give me advice on how I could improve it.

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dannblood
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PostSubject: Re: Dragonball D   Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:52 am

Ive just skimmed briefly over the 14 odd episodes, and it seems really good, you have a good style of writing. Just one thing though, try and get the battles to go a bit longer than 1 or 2 posts. If you can get it to keep going for maybe 3 or even 4 episodes then that would be great.
Just as an example, i'm writing a novel that i may or may not be posting parts of, and you really have to try and space things out. Try not to use a bunch of filler and make everything relevant to the story though, or it'll just get boring.
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The Dark Angel
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PostSubject: Re: Dragonball D   Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:30 am

Thanks for the advice. I'll try and keep that in mind.

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Son Gohan
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PostSubject: Re: Dragonball D   Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:58 am

I think I like to know more about their past and personally,my friend.Ot is so damn nice.
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100 Shots
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PostSubject: Re: Dragonball D   Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:53 pm

Your dialogue and description are getting better but to make it even use poetic language instead of saying vines wraped around Zaya's legs say vines rapidly snaked themselves up the hybrid's leg and constrict them like vicious pythons.
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