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 Fast Food Revenge

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Commax
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PostSubject: Fast Food Revenge   Fri Nov 16, 2007 2:23 pm

This is a short morality play that I wrote this morning. Read it and enjoy.

Fast Food Revenge

Characters:
Disgruntled Employee
Employee
Manager
Evil Customer
Morality
Street Justice


Play
Disgruntled Employee is a hard worker who is employed at a fast food restaurant. He works there to pay his college tuition with hopes of becoming a graphic artist. One day a customer enters the restaurant with ill intentions.

Evil Customer: Are you retarded? I didnít ask for green peppers and onions on my fajita burrito!

Employee: Sir it comes with it.

Evil Customer: Thatís not what I asked for! Thatís why I hate foreigners. Stupid Mexicans.

*Looks at Disgruntled Employee*

Evil Customer: Hey you! Do you speak English?

Disgruntled Employee: Yeah, I guess so.

Evil Customer: I said I wanted a fajita burrito with no green peppers and onions.

Disgruntled Employee: Um sir, the fajitas are the green peppers and onions.

Evil Customer: Thatís not what I asked for! I want it my way!

Disgruntled Employee: We can make it again, itís no problem. Iím just letting you know that when you say fajita, youíre asking for- -

Evil Customer: I donít want green peppers and onions on my fajita burrito. Why canít I have it my way?

*Enter the Manager*[/i}

Manager: Is there a problem?

Evil Customer: They keep putting green peppers and onions on my food. I donít want that!

Manager: Disgruntled Employee, go make him another burrito.

Disgruntled Employee: This dude asked for a fajita burrito and is complaining because we put fajitas on it. Damn, look at the sign! Fajita burrito Ė served with green peppers and onions!

Manager: I said go make him another burrito now!

Disgruntled Employee: Fine, whatever.

[i]*Disgruntled Employee goes into the kitchen to prepare another burrito.*


Disgruntled Employee: A fajita burrito with no green peppers and onions is what he wants. The fajitas are the green peppers and onions! Thatís like asking for a chicken sandwich with no chicken! What a dumbass! If only I could go out there and give him a piece of my mind.

*Enter Morality and Street Justice*

Morality: Be calm Disgruntled Employee. Just make the food and relax. It will all be over soon.

Street Justice: Man, fuck that noise! That dude just disrespected you in front of the whole store. What are you going to do about that?

Disgruntled Employee: I donít about that man. I could get in trouble if I do something.

Street Justice: What? Youíre going to let that dude get away with this shit? Who he think he is? Man up son.

Morality: Youíre wrong Street Justice. Two wrongs donít make a right.

Street Justice: No, but they make things even.

Disgruntled Employee: Yeah youíre right. I donít have to take this crap from him. Itís time to make things right.

Street Justice: You know what you have to do.

Disgruntled Employee added some his pubic hairs in the Evil Customerís burrito and served it to him. Evil Customer quickly became sick and vomited on the dining room floor. An old lady walked by and slipped on the vomit. She broke her neck and died instantly.

*The next day*

Manager: Disgruntled Employee, what happened yesterday?

Disgruntled Employee: Justice is what happened yesterday. That dude got what he deserved.

Manager: So what are you saying?

Disgruntled Employee: Iím not saying nothing.

Manager: Well you donít have to. The cameras recorded you putting your pubic hairs into the customerís burrito. Youíre fired!

Disgruntled Employee leaves the store. He is soon accompanied by Morality and Street Justice.

Disgruntled Employee: Oh no! I got fired man. Now how am I supposed to pay for school?

Morality: You have no one to blame but yourself. You let your anger get the best of you.

Disgruntled Employee: Yeah, I guess youíre right. I wished I had never listened to you Street Justice.

Street Justice: Itís not my fault. Blame it on the Man. He tried to force you to compromise your integrity. Now he fired you because he knows that youíre not some spineless pussy.

Morality: That is not the case!

Disgruntled Employee: No, Street Justice is right. Manager is a self-righteous fascist who thinks Iím his god dammed slave. Now I need to teach that bastard a lesson.

Street Justice: Hell yeah! Thatís what Iím talking about. But first, smoke this.

Disgruntled Employee proceeded to put one up in the air. Hours later he returned to the restaurant and shot up the place. He managed to destroy all evidence linking him to the shooting. On the way out, he took the money from the register and used it to finish paying for his tuition. He eventually graduated and became a successful graphic artist. He lived happily ever after.
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Andy
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PostSubject: Re: Fast Food Revenge   Sun Nov 18, 2007 9:33 am

I think thats the first story I've ever read in which a person that has voices in his head turns out okay.

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"What power would hell have if those imprisoned there could not dream of heaven?" - Dream
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PostSubject: Re: Fast Food Revenge   Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:24 pm

That was freaking funny, Commax. Is dark humor your favorite sense of humor?
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